Is Lalochezia Good or Bad?

It depends. Unloading in church during prayers or the sermon would be a total disaster, really bad.

However, when tripping while running alone, a burst of lalochezia might be helpful and therapeutic.

I was a PK (preacher’s kid), which can carry stigmas. My biggest stigma was being fat (they called me “Crisco Kid”). To avoid being perceived as religious, a sissy, effeminate, or homosexual, I tried to be seen as a tough guy. Out of earshot of adults, I would use expletives, some of which I didn’t even know the meaning of.

In sixth grade, our male teacher heard us on the playground and decided he needed to teach us what the curse words meant, especially the sexual ones. It was interesting, but that didn’t slow down my swearing.

My cussing went on through college and was especially useful on the sports field. However, I had to be careful where I used it—never at home.

After college, I joined the Marine Corps, where the f-word was used like a comma. I can still hear one drill sergeant: He would come into our dormitory at 5:30 a.m., shout “reveille,” and turn on the light. If our feet weren’t on the floor as the light went on, he would scream, “Who do you think you are, John F—–g Wayne?” This went on almost every morning. Some would laugh, and then, with another yell, we’d hear “What’s so g–d— f—–g funny?”

As an officer, I decided to go through the Marine Corps without ever cursing. When I had my own troops, my men knew I never cursed. But once, they messed up big time. They were lined up, and I said, “Sometimes you men make me so damn mad!” There were some gasps. The lieutenant used a curse word. He must be really mad!

I suspect you now understand that the word lalochezia is related to profanity. I learned it when it appeared on my computer and in a daily word trivia game. It is fun to say and refers to the use of vulgar or foul language to relieve stress.

As a clergyperson, especially when working with youth, there was absolutely no cursing. Then I married. Lalochezia is not a good tool for a strong marriage. When Annie and I had children, there was no cussing. Occasionally, our girls would test us with a curse word, and we pretended it was a mortal sin with eternal consequences. Then they grew up, and we couldn’t have cared less. We know it’s a great stress reliever.

Next, the computer was invented, and suddenly my lalochezia was activated. When computers don’t behave, I’m clueless about how to fix them, so I resort to lalochezia. It doesn’t fix the problem, but I feel better.

I’ve also noticed that the mere appearance of certain faces or voices associated with the present administration can trigger my lalochezia, often quite dramatically. To address this, I stopped listening to the news, and I canceled my newspaper and magazine subscriptions.

Bottom line: Lalochezia can be both good and bad. If no one is around, it’s harmless and relieves stress. However, when people are around, my use becomes circumstantial. It used to be a no-no around our little granddaughters, but now they’re adults and have learned lalochezia. (I checked: It’s not in our DNA, but it can be inherited.)

I think that if I got rid of my computer, stopped driving, refused to watch television or read newspapers and magazines, and gave up sports, I could cure my lalochezia.

I wonder if Jesus ever had lalochezia? But for now, it’s Lent 2026. So, no lalochezia!

PeaceLoveJoyHopeKindness

Bil

 

 

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P.S. People often ask me provocative questions about current events, both religious and secular. I have found that some of these questions are being asked universally. I’ll be periodically alternating regular articles with one of those questions and my answer. I invite you to send me your question to bilaulenbach@yahoo.com.

Photo by Bao Menglong on Unsplash