Deconstructing

I started my deconstructing process in September 1957 on my first day in seminary when the professors started eradicating my Sunday school thinking, which went something like this: God was like Santa Claus, except a little meaner. He and his Son were perfect and lived in heaven. God was a Master Puppeteer who made everything happen in everyone’s life all over earth. God and Jesus were White guys and loved Episcopalians.

My deconstruction went very quickly. For other seminarians, the deconstructing was painful. A couple of the men ended up in Napa Valley State Mental Hospital because their Sunday school thinking was the foundation of their faith, and they were afraid that if they let go of those beliefs, their lives might fall apart.

In my second year of seminary, I had a serious accident. My best friend was killed, and my right leg was badly broken. On my second day in the hospital, an Episcopal priest walked into the room and asked, “What did you and Brad do to deserve this?” That question accidentally started my next deconstruction. I was finished with the anthropomorphic god who lived UpThere above the third firmament. I had no interest in working for that vengeful guy. I wondered if I should drop out of seminary. But I wanted to be a missionary.

It took a few months, but my reconstructed God became the concept of Creation. It has no gender, isn’t anthropomorphic, has no kids, and portrays vastness beyond my comprehension. In comparison, Paul Tillich (1886–1965) used the phrase “the Ground of all being” for God, which is interesting, but I still like Creation.

Creation presented a bit of a challenge. The Episcopal church (the only church I had ever attended) was (and still is) dedicated to the anthropomorphic God and his Son, who lived UpThere with the Father, died for my sins, answered prayers (sort of), and did bad things to good people. I despised that god but had learned to leave my critical thinking behind and told the examiners what they wanted to hear. And then I asked for forgiveness.

However, once I was ordained, my new God, Creation, did cause some challenges:

1. This concept was heresy.
2. Prayer took on a whole new meaning.
3. The Episcopal church wanted no part of this new belief. (It still doesn’t!)
4. The theology of the church disappeared.
5. Jesus became real. He was now a total human being.
6. Resurrection is no longer an event but rather a life-changing, transforming metaphor.
7. Deconstructing and reconstructing has to be a part of being a Follower and never stops.

My new book, How to Make Love (the Agape Kind) with Jesus, is all about this deconstruction and reconstruction, which will be out in August (you can preorder it now). Stay tuned!

Peace Love Joy Hope

Bil

Photo by Jay Ee on Unsplash