Many claim God wrote the Bible. That’s a total lie. It was written by lots of different men over a 2,500-plus-year timespan.
At times, people are forced to place their hand on it and swear that they are telling “the truth, the whole truth, nothing but the truth, so help me God.” How silly is that? Why does putting one’s hand on it make people tell the truth? It doesn’t!
Some people claim that it contains everything necessary for salvation. Mind you, this book hasn’t been updated for about two thousand years. The world has changed radically. Many issues and situations in it are irrelevant today.
The violence in the Bible makes some of today’s violence sound like child’s play. God telling the Israelites to wipe out all—yes, all—the Canaanites is not nice, especially if one is a Canannite.
To describe in detail a crucifixion, which is nothing but the worst kind of violence, is not something I want my children to experience.
How about all the sex in the Bible? It starts in Genesis, describing Adam and Eve as naked. Still in Genesis, Abraham pimps out Sarah to the pharaoh. In the story about the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, Lot’s two daughters get the old man drunk so he’ll impregnate them. These are not good bedtime stories. In Ezekiel, he talks about “spreading your legs with increasing promiscuity to anyone who passed by.” Disgusting! The Song of Songs uses erotic poetry: “Your breast like clusters of fruit . . . and I will take hold of its fruit.” These are just a few examples of the rather explicit language.
In the New Testament, Jesus actually protects adulterous women and then promises that they’ll enter the kingdom of heaven before the clergy do. That’s awful!
The racism is blatant. The “chosen people” have no love of Samaritans, Egyptians, Canaanites, or anyone who isn’t like them. This is not what we are teaching our children.
And what about all the contradictions? The writers can’t even figure out where Jesus was born. Matthew claims when the Magi came, they found Jesus and his mother in a house. Luke says he was born out in the open near a stable. Come on! Why don’t you even know where Jesus was born? This is stupid!
Does anyone need any more proof that the Bible needs to be banned and that our children should never be allowed to read it?
Signed, Self-Righteous Bil
- S. All the above is tongue in cheek. I am being as ridiculous as anyone who insists on banning and censoring books in today’s world of the smartphone when our children have instant knowledge whether we want them to or not. In a democracy, we let each person pick and choose what it is they want to read. All the laws banning and censoring are a waste of time.
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