My Eulogy Speech

Here’s a story of three friends who were sitting around chatting. One of them asked, “When you are lying in your casket at your funeral, and someone is giving the eulogy, what do you want them to say to the congregation?”

Art said, “I want to hear what a wonderful teacher and servant of God I was and that I made a huge difference in people’s lives.”

Then Eugene said, “I would like the person to say that I was a wonderful, faithful husband and a dedicated father, as well as a great leader.”

Al replied, “I’d love to hear the eulogist, very excited, shout, ‘Look! Al is climbing out of his casket!’”

I would like that to happen to me too.

For years, I have suggested having a mock celebration service in my honor so I can see who shows up and what people will say in their eulogies. So far, no one in my family thinks that’s a good idea, but I keep trying.

I want to have a celebration of my life. I understand that there will be tears. But I hope they are more joyous than sad. Every death creates a void, but I hope people will fill it by practicing agape toward the least of these in our area.

Years ago, when my Annie started a volunteer group at the Hawaii School for the Deaf and Blind, one of her volunteers sent us a Christmas card with these words: “Christmas Presence . . . Give Yourself Away!” I love that idea and would like to have a sign with that in big letters posted where everyone can see it.

I would like someone giving a eulogy for me to share some of my favorite jokes, such as the one with the man kneeling in front of the pope, the one about Bubba and Oak Street, the one about the little girl drawing a picture of God, and the one about Jonah, the little girl, and her teacher. (These jokes are available upon request.)

I want one of my favorite songs by Peggy Lee, “Big Bad Bill (Is Sweet William Now),” to play at some point. And maybe when folks are waiting for the service to start, play Bach’s “Brandenburg Concertos,” some of my favorite classical music.

Don’t be afraid to mention my politics, which are based on Jesus’s idea found in Matthew 25:40, “Just as you did this for the least of these . . . you did for me.” I always vote for those who ensure the marginalized in our society have the same opportunities as the privileged, no matter their party.

Of course, I want tons of kudos to my best friend, my life companion for sixty-five years, and I’m hoping for ten more. We have been a great team as we have faced all kinds of adversity as well as great happiness in our journey together. I never fully understood the phrase “when two become one” (Mark 10:8) until I married Annie, and we became this great team doing life together.

I also have a selfish reason for wanting to do a practice eulogy because I have let it be known that everyone who shows up will be invited to a real Hawaiian luau. I love luau kaukau (food) and especially good poi, which some claim tastes like library paste but not if you eat it with lomi salmon.

Would you come to my practice eulogy?

PeaceLoveJoyHopeKindness

Bil

Get my book at Bookshop.org, Barnes & Noble, or Amazon!

P.S. People often ask me provocative questions about current events, both religious and secular. I have found that some of these questions are being asked universally. I’ll be periodically alternating regular articles with one of those questions and my answer. I invite you to send me your question to bilaulenbach@yahoo.com.

 

Photo by Gaelle Marcel on Unsplash