Celebrating

On June 17, 2025, at eight in the evening, Annie and I were seated at a restaurant outside overlooking the Pacific Ocean in Laguna Beach in Southern California. The sun had set, and Annie and I raised our glasses, toasting the start of our sixty-fifth year of marriage. For the past couple of days, we had been staying at a local hotel in this wonderful, artsy beach town.

We arrived at the restaurant at six, ordered a glass of wine, and toasted our sixty-four years of marriage, which began in a suburb of Honolulu called Aina Haina at Holy Nativity Episcopal Church. Annie worked there as the kindergarten teacher at their parochial school and I as the assistant rector in charge of youth work.

On a Saturday afternoon on June 17, 1961, Annie walked down the aisle on her dad’s arm while I waited at the front of the church for this beautiful woman who would soon be my wife. Bishop Harry Kennedy, who was my bishop, and my dad, an Episcopal priest, presided over the ceremony.

The church was packed mostly with young people because I had a youth group of 350 teenagers. Back then, flying to Hawai‘i was very expensive, so our friends weren’t able to join us. However, the parish organized the entire wedding, and Annie and I only had to show up. Since it was mostly teenagers, the reception was dry, but it was filled with love and joy.

We spent our first night at the Royal Hawaiian because the maître d’ was a good friend who treated us like royalty. The mayor of Honolulu and his wife were members of our parish, and as a wedding gift, they loaned us their honeymoon cottage for two weeks near the volcano on the Big Island of Hawai‘i. It was perfect!

It never occurred to us then that someday we would celebrate our fiftieth wedding anniversary, and we just celebrated our sixty-fourth, heading into our sixty-fifth year.

Because we both looked young for our age (ninety-three and eighty-seven), many people don’t think we have been alive for that long, but we are very much alive and living life to its fullest. Annie has some cognitive challenges, and I have had cancer three times, along with some heart issues, but those haven’t slowed us down much.

I believe almost everyone who has learned about our long marriage has asked, “What’s the secret?” Our immediate response is that we have always been best friends, and whenever we faced conflict, we never let it go unresolved, so we’re not carrying baggage from years ago. Also, we enjoy doing almost everything together, whether it’s working out, traveling, cuddling, skiing, going to the symphony or theater, socializing, or discussing everything.

At one time during our marriage, we had a foster daughter, and unknowingly she paid us the finest compliment when she said, “You two make me so damn mad because you always stick together.”

Another challenge we faced together is being the parents of a multidisabled daughter, who is deaf and blind, has mild cerebral palsy, heart murmurs, and epilepsy, but is very bright. As many of you know, raising such a child can be incredibly challenging, but we both became deeply involved in the deaf and blind communities, where we found a great deal of support and comfort and stayed married.

In the midst of this upside-down world, I wanted to share a happy story with a good ending so far.

Will we make it to seventy-five years of marriage? I would be one hundred and three, and Annie would be ninety-seven. Despite the odds, we’re going for it. Stay tuned!

PeaceLoveJoyHopeKindness

Bil

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P.S. People often ask me provocative questions about current events, both religious and secular. I have found that some of these questions are being asked universally. I’ll be periodically alternating regular articles with one of those questions and my answer. I invite you to send me your question to bilaulenbach@yahoo.com.

 

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12 thoughts on “Celebrating”

  1. I celebrate with you both from across the pond where we first became friends in 1973-4. I loved taking your three to Hanauma Bay but the uphill climb with Alison 2, Heidi about 4 and poor Gretchen 6, was aweful. Carrying Alison and Heidi up, Gretchen had to carry all our gear. But I don’t remember her complaining at all. You raised three great kids.

    Reply
  2. I celebrate with you both from across the pond where we first became friends in 1973-4. I loved taking your three to Hanauma Bay but the uphill climb with Alison 2, Heidi about 4 and poor Gretchen 6, was awful. Carrying Alison and Heidi up, Gretchen had to carry all our gear. But I don’t remember her complaining at all. You raised three great kids.

    Reply
  3. On June 17, 1961, the day of your wedding, I gave birth to our daughter Sonja Marie. Now, at 64 years of age, she continues to be a joy and support in my life — just like the two of you are to each other. It’s a special date to remember ‼️

    Reply
    • Many thanks, Linda. It’s been and continues to be a great journey. We just do it a little slower now.
      PeaceLoveJoyHopeKindness
      Bil

      Reply
  4. A VERY belated note regarding this special story. I am SO behind in my reading but so glad I read this inspiring story of love, devotion and perseverance. You two are an inspiration and I am betting you will make it to your 75th celebration!! You most certainly deserve it.

    All the best for all the rest of your lives,

    Reply
    • Many thanks, Harvey. This website had issues and for the past six weeks it suggested no one had replied to my blogs. We knew that was wrong so the problem is fixed. Don’t worry, you and Aaron will certainly be invited to celebrate my hundredth. I suspect it will be here at The Groves in their main dining room. Stay tuned!
      Pax
      Bil

      Reply

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